Each city I’ve lived in showed me something about what makes a place feel like home. I wrote about Barcelona, Hamburg, and London in an earlier post. This one starts with the question my family is weighing now – whether home can be more than one place – and then goes back to two cities that taught me a ton about what to look for: Buenos Aires and Beijing.

Presently, we stand at a crossroads, faced with the intriguing challenge of converging these various paths into one cohesive dream – our quest for a second home.

This pursuit isn’t just about finding a new location to live; it’s about finding a place that helps brilliantly blend together the best elements of our global experiences. Even more, a place that resonates deeply with the diverse facets of who we are and the lifestyle we aspire to create.

Our Quest for the Ideal Second Home

The tricky thing, of course, is that we can only be in one place at any given time.

If you’re lucky, you’re able to find a home in a location that has nearly all of the qualities you love, and also be in a position to live there.

Most of us, however, try to make the best of what’s within reach. And we accept that our location will leave something to be desired.

Even for those with the freedom to relocate, the decision is tough. As often, our interests are pretty multifaceted.

We may thrive on the electric and ambitious energy, incredible diversity, and all the hustle of a global powerhouse like New York; but also long for a creative atmosphere, Mediterranean lifestyle, beach scene, and emphasis on enjoying life and community of a city like Barcelona. 

Usually, our circumstances force us to choose one over another. So we make the best decision we can and move forward. But we understand that it may come at the cost of leaving behind large facets of what we value deeply.

Balancing Desires and Practicalities in Multiple Locations

However, in our family’s case, since my wife and I both work remotely most of the time, we have a rare (albeit not as rare as it once was) opportunity to pursue a life not limited by traditional boundaries. 

We have the luxury of exploring a legitimate life across multiple locations – and to do that, at least somewhat, practically.

In essence, this enables us the chance to bring more of what we value most into our lives for longer periods of time. 

Figuring out where the right places are and then getting the balance of time right to spend in each, is now the name of the game.

Should we split our time primarily between New York and Barcelona? Or between Los Angeles and San José del Cabo?

What will that split look like? Is it an even split or perhaps a seasonal arrangement like nine months here and three months there?

Could we envision an even broader spectrum, spending four months in New York, another four in Barcelona, and the remaining time in Los Angeles or Mallorca or somewhere keeping us closer to other family and friends?

That’s all part of the fun, and certainly the challenge, of our search to find the right second home abroad.

Why Finding the Right Place Matters

As we embark on the journey to find our second home abroad, we’re not just looking for a place that meets our surface-level needs. We’re searching for a city that mirrors the aspects of ourselves we cherish the most. A place that allows us to live our best lives, not by changing who we are, but by reflecting who we are at our best.

Spending more time in the locations that align with facets of ourselves we deeply value can be transformative.

Put simply, this journey is less about a new home and more about a pursuit of a life that is in sync with our innermost values and aspirations – a place that mirrors and amplifies the best parts of who we are and who we aspire to be.

In discussing the importance of a great locale, this isn’t just theoretical for me; it’s my lived reality. I’ve been shaped by it. The locations where I’ve lived have been more than temporary stops; they’ve been defining chapters in my story.

“One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.”

– Henry Miller

Cities That Taught Me What to Look For

Living across Asia, Europe, and South America for nearly seven years has been an extraordinary privilege.

It’s one thing to be a tourist, but another entirely to embed oneself in the daily life and customs of different cultures. Every experience has been a stepping stone, building a more well-rounded and multifaceted understanding of myself and the world.

The Living Classrooms of Buenos Aires, Beijing, and Beyond

Each place I’ve lived has been a living classroom, teaching me invaluable lessons in adaptability, open-mindedness, cultural sensitivity, communication and self-reliance.

The Resilient Spirit of Buenos Aires: Lessons in Joy and Adaptability

Discovering the Heartbeat of Buenos Aires

During my time in Buenos Aires, I lived primarily in Palermo, with a stint in Recoleta. Every day, I was captivated by the fiery spirit of the Porteños – the locals (and true heartbeat) of Buenos Aires.

Visualize the visceral energy of Tango dancers owning the rhythm on bustling street corners, spirited debates about politics over a traditional cup of maté, or the undying loyalty towards their beloved soccer teams.

Buenos Aires, in almost every facet, was a city that wore its heart on its sleeve.

As someone who holds soccer close to my own heart, witnessing the fervor of the River Plate vs. Boca Juniors rivalry was akin to beholding the epitome of collective passion.

But what struck me most was the resilience of its people.

Echoes of the Past: Resilience in the Face of Turmoil

Confronting the traumatic echoes of its recent history, Argentina has had its share of economic and political turmoil, from the haunting shadows of the Dirty War to the tremors of its banking system collapse to the economic crises that have followed.

Yet, the Porteños I was privileged to know exemplified a remarkable ability to find joy despite adversity. Even amid palpable pain and suffering, their undeterred capacity to not only ‘make do’ but also to pursue life with passion was moving.

One memorable evening at my favorite local watering hole, conversations seamlessly jumped from fútbol to politics and, intriguingly, to therapy. In Buenos Aires, therapy wasn’t whispered about; it was part of everyday conversation.

Recognized as vital self-care, it underscored the Porteños’ dedication to personal growth and mental well-being. Their forward-thinking approach to mental wellness was a breath of fresh air and struck a chord with my own maturing perspectives, affirming the importance of one’s holistic well-being.  

The Transformative Power of Resilience and Community

The Porteños’ remarkable ability to adapt, persevere, and retain their infectious vitality was more than admirable – it was inspiring. It drove home for me the reality that even in the face of life’s very harsh realities, it’s possible to maintain a warm spirit and a zest for life.

Their shared experiences seemed to carve out a unique culture that fostered deep, meaningful connections, turning collective melancholy into bonds of solidarity and support. 

These lessons have undoubtedly shaped my worldview, illuminating the transformative power of places and communities.

Buenos Aires wasn’t merely a temporary home – it was a living lesson in resilience, epitomizing the untiring triumph of the human spirit.

As our journey to find a second home unfolds, I’m guided by these enduring lessons, hoping to find a place that offers more than just comfort but also a community radiating the resilience, warmth, and a deep love for life, like I came across in Buenos Aires.

The Heartwarming Humanity of Beijing: A Lesson in Kindness and Connection

In the midst of Beijing’s urban expanse, I stumbled into an unexpected sanctuary that would redefine my expat experience there.

On the ground floor of my high-rise was a small French bakery, a tiny slice of Paris in the heart of China.

But, for me, the true charm of this café wasn’t in its delicious pastries or rich espressos. It was the people running it, whose authentic warmth and camaraderie infused the simple eatery with an extraordinary sense of community and connection.

A Friendship Brewed in a Beijing Café

It was on one of my first visits that I crossed paths with the café’s young owner. His entrepreneurial spirit was evident as he shared the story of how he, with the backing of his family, had realized his dream of opening this café.

His proficiency in English and brimming curiosity about the world made our conversations a regular highlight of my visits. Over coffee and shared laughter, we would trade stories about our lives and the worlds we knew.

His insights into Chinese culture were priceless, guiding me through key aspects of Chinese history and traditions. He’d yet to travel outside of China. So I became one of his windows to the greater global landscape, providing him a vicarious journey beyond borders.

As the months passed, we developed a genuine friendship. Our casual chats soon evolved into deeper conversations about life, travel, and the dreams that would guide our futures. 

But it wasn’t just the café owner who left a lasting impression on me. His family, most of whom were integral to the café’s daily operations, were equally unforgettable. Their limited English did nothing to hold back the sincere connections we formed.

His parents, sister, and cousin, each contributed to an atmosphere of warmth and welcome that transcended words.

Acts of Kindness: A Language Beyond Words

Engrossed in my work one evening, the owner’s mother surprised me by bringing me a plate of freshly made dumplings. Confused but delighted, I offered to pay, only to be met with a warm smile and a shake of the head.

It was a gift; a quiet act of kindness that would become a heartwarming ritual during my late-evening work sessions. 

To me, these weren’t just tasty dumplings. They were an expression of genuine kindness from a local to a foreigner navigating life in a new land. Her regular surprises of homemade dumplings were simple yet profound gestures that made a foreign land feel more like home.

Their generosity extended beyond the café.

Navigating New Worlds with Local Guidance

When they learned I was planning a shopping trip to a local wholesale market, the owner’s father insisted on accompanying me to help me navigate the art of haggling – a skill I was yet to master. Despite my initial protests, I accepted his offer and was humbled by his concern for my well-being.

Here again the language barrier proved inconsequential. He maneuvered through the maze of vendors, bargaining on my behalf like a skilled diplomat, always ensuring I got the best deals. His presence wasn’t just helpful but deeply touching.

Here was a man who spoke no English, yet was willing to spend his day making sure I wasn’t taken advantage of. It was another act of kindness that I wouldn’t forget.

And there were the smaller gestures of care, like the time I walked in with a minor cut on my finger. The owner’s mother, a former army nurse, rushed to my aid, bandaging the wound with the care of a seasoned professional.

These moments, and countless others, spoke volumes of their universal language of compassion – a language that didn’t need any words.

“In a foreign land, speaking a language I barely understood, I found a second family.”

What Stayed With Me

Despite cultural differences, language hurdles, and simply being a stranger to whom they owed absolutely nothing, their consistent ability to make me feel seen, understood, and valued was extraordinary.

On the other side of the world, in a French Bakery in the middle of Beijing of all places, this family somehow made me feel like I belonged. 

They taught me that no matter where we are in the world, kindness is a universal language, and it’s these heartfelt connections that make a place truly feel like home.

These lessons in humanity are what I carry with me today. As my family and I search for our next home abroad, it’s these meaningful connections that we seek to replicate – the same kind of bonds that turned an unassuming French café in Beijing into a place where I belonged.

What I Look For Now

So, why is this relevant to our search for a second home abroad? Barcelona is where I learned to look for community. Buenos Aires and Beijing taught me to look for more.

From Buenos Aires: people who talk openly about how they’re really doing (therapy came up at the bar as easily as soccer), and joy that holds up when times are hard. From Beijing: kindness that doesn’t wait for a shared language. It came as a plate of dumplings, a day at the wholesale market, a bandaged finger.

Neither would have shown up on a short visit, which makes them the hardest things to judge from a distance and the most important to test. If you want a way to test a place for them, the Location Chemistry Framework turns them into questions you can take with you.

Our Vision: More Than Just a Second Home 

My life has gained immeasurable depth and texture from my time living in Barcelona, Beijing, Buenos Aires, Hamburg, London, and Rome. Each city has acted as a mentor, teaching me invaluable lessons that have shaped my character and worldview.

These cities have each been tremendous drivers of personal growth; challenging me to think beyond my preconceptions and embrace a multitude of viewpoints.

From Barcelona’s rhythm of community to a Beijing family who looked after a stranger they owed nothing, and from Buenos Aires’ passionate embrace of life to Hamburg’s commitment to a sustainable future, each one changed what I need from a place.

These numerous and wide-ranging cultures have instilled in me the value of adaptability and showed me the beauty of integrating diverse philosophies into our family’s ethos.

As a family, we’re excited to continue this journey of self-discovery, adding new chapters to our unfolding saga.

Along the way, and with each new destination, we’re looking forward to not only discovering new parts of the world; but also uncovering deeper layers within ourselves.

It’s an ongoing journey that promises endless growth and learning.

The Ideal Lifestyle: What We’re Searching For

First and foremost, our family is lifestyle-searching, seeking out a way of life that connects deeply with our values and aspirations.

Further, we’re looking for a unique place that offers a diverse cultural experience, strong sense of community and opportunities for both personal and professional growth. We’re seeking more than a seasonal getaway; we’re looking for a home away from home to spend meaningful parts of each year.

As we envision our future abroad, we’re drawn to places where the rhythm of life resonates with our love for live music. Also, where the thrill of sports ignites our spirit, reflecting our passion for football (and American football too 🙂).

We yearn for places where the serene beauty of the beach meets the energetic pulse of city life; offering us an ideal balance of excitement and relaxation.

Imagine a lifestyle where each day brings a new opportunity for connection and learning, from the spontaneity of hosting friends and family, to immersing ourselves in local cultures rich in tradition or innovation.

We’re looking for locations that support our continuous growth, enable our remote-work to prosper, and provide engaging community opportunities. Equally, cultures that emphasize the simple joys of savoring life’s moments (whether by the water, in the middle of a buzzing metropolis, or anywhere else).

This journey is about discovering regions where our passions for exploration, creativity, and meaningful interactions can flourish, leading us to a lifestyle that’s as dynamic and fulfilling as the destinations we explore.

Keep Reading

If these stories made you think about what you’d look for in a place, the Location Chemistry Framework turns it into eight tests you can use anywhere. And if you haven’t taken the Values Compass yet, it’s a short questionnaire that shows which of these things matter most to you.

Follow Our Search

Occasional updates as we test places, publish new destination profiles, and work out what a life across more than one place could look like.